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How
to interpret classified "horse for sale" ads...
Big
Trot:
Can
canter within a two mile straightaway.
Nicely
Started:
Lunges,
but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet!
Top
Show Horse:
Won
a reserve champion 5 years ago at a show with unusually low entries due
to tornado warnings.
Home
Bred:
Know
nothing, despite being raised on the back porch.
Big
Boned:
Good
thing he has a mane and tail, or he would be mistaken for a cow.
No
Vices:
Especially
when he wears his muzzle.
Bold:
Runaway.
Good
Mover:
Runaway.
Athletic:
Runaway.
Needs
Intermediate Rider:
Runaway.
Should
mature 16 hh:
Currently
13 hh, dam is 14.2 hh, sire is 14.3 hh, every horse in his pedigree back
18 generations is under 15 hh, but *this* horse will defy his DNA and grow.
Well
Mannered:
Hasn't
stepped on, run over, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.
Professionally
Trained:
Hasn't
stepped on, run over, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month.
Recently
Vetted:
Someone
else found something really wrong with this horse.
To
Good Home Only:
Not
really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth,
2) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document, 3)
allow current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night.
Light
Cribber:
We
can't afford to build any more fences and barns for the buzz saw.
Excellent
Disposition: Never been out of the stall.
Clips,
Hauls, Loads:
Clippety
is the sound his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking lot
when you try to load him.
author
unknown
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